Summer is in full swing and everyone has been enjoying it to the fullest here on the farm!
As a wife and mom trying to keep up with the demands, I often find myself asking the silent inner question, ‘Okay God, what character trait of Yours do You want me to lean into here in this space?’ Lately it’s been His faithfulness; His love faithfully surrounding me like a ring of solid gold. Tried. Tested. True. Faithful. Always there no matter what.
Some days I wonder if my mom life really matters to Him? I mean, I know the answer in my head, but my heart needs reassurance. Do you see me, Papa? Do you hear? Do you really care about all the nitty gritty everyday decisions and chores that go with mom life? A couple months ago, I started being persistent with Him as the questions kept surfacing. ‘God, it doesn’t need to be big, but can You just open my eyes to see You in the everyday stuff of mom life and let me know in my heart that You see me?’ And then I let it go while expecting an answer in my heart. I honestly can’t point to something big. But He HAS opened my eyes and my heart to see Him and receive Him in all the daily routines. There are moments when I’m in my kitchen and I’m suddenly overwhelmed because what used to feel mundane now feels purpose-FULL. Fulfilling.
Staying present and just believing His faithfulness for me has been one major shift that has opened up the way in allowing the reality of ‘up there’ to come ‘down here’. Present. In THIS day. In THIS moment. It’s here that His faithful heart gets me. And He shows me all the practical ways to embrace the day of ‘small things’. The laundry needing done. The meals needing planned and cooked. The house that seems a perpetual song of floors needing cleaned up and children needing guidance. When and how to work the side gig in without upsetting the fruit basket. Opening my eyes and heart to catch the 5-10 minutes of golden time connecting with the hubs and smiling big with him about his new dreams coming true. All of that possible because Papa is the One constant in my life who I know I can just lock eyes with in the middle of this organized chaos and be stilled by His rock solid love. In that spot, my spinning compass stills and points to true North. I give Him my yes faithfully and His faithful love fills that space with a beauty and purpose all its own.
In this space of choosing to be faithful and stay present, I blush to realize all I was missing. I’m a dreamer, a visionary, and what’s ‘out there’ has always looked more glamorous and big to me than right here. I would be the sheep who gets its head stuck under the fence reaching for the greener grass on the other side. Or the pillar of salt looking back figuring out how I could have avoided some of the ‘yesterdays’ in my story. But Papa isn’t there. He’s not back there. Nor is He out ahead of me dreaming of the bigger things I could be doing. He’s HERE. Right here in THIS moment. And that is the place I will find Him if I surrender to it. Yes, He was in my yesterdays and yes, He has my tomorrows planned, but the path to healing from deep wounds in my past as well as having my eyes opened to Papa’s care for me in the ordinary moments of mom life has been through staying present in this moment and receiving His faithfulness here.
I’ve been notorious for asking ‘Is there more I could have done?’ Or, on the flip side, trying to figure out the future and how to make that ‘safe’, especially for my kids even though I know there is absolutely no possible way to do that.
A friend reminded me that when Moses asked God who he should say sent him to deliver Israel from Egypt, God didn’t refer to the past or the future, He said, “I AM sent you!” God is a God of the present. The right question to carry to Papa’s heart is, ‘What do you want me to do today?’ and live each day from that secure place.
I took what my dear friend said and ran with it. You wouldn’t believe the transformation this is bringing and has already brought me! I decided I’d just keep giving God my ‘yesses’ right where I was—glamorous or not. I decided I’d let the past go, and the future. I’d stop reaching for grass that looks greener on the other side of the fence. Instead, I would stay here—fully present and alive to what God was doing. It’s glorious how just saying ‘yes’ to being faithful in the present moment can change EVERYTHING. I’m discovering that as I stay in this secret place, He is becoming the Redeemer of the past and the security for the future! As a mom, I need that so I can be fully invested in each of my kid’s lives. I’m building tomorrow, today and I don’t want to miss it!
Side note: every mom needs a good honest girlfriend or two who will care but remind them that THIS moment is what they were made for and not to miss it!
So, when the pressure of life starts trying to push and shove me around and the multitude of outside voices start to clamor, you might find me pushing the crowd aside and climbing a sycamore tree like Zacchaeus. Because I’m not going to let my past or my circumstances or the multitude of voices around me hold me back. I’m gonna climb that tree for a view and in that place, I know I’ll be changed in surprising ways. And when Papa locks eyes with mine, I’ll come down faster than I went up just because one look from those eyes of faithful love is all I need to ground me and remind me that this moment is what I was made for. He only needs my faithfulness; He’ll take it from there with all of His faithfulness. No ‘yes’ is too small for Him and nothing is mundane when you find Him in it!
August 2, 2021
by Vera Smoker
Hi there! I am Vera, blessed wife of one and mom to three wonderful little people who make my world go round. I am an unashamed lover of Jesus, passionate about authentic relationships rooted within the identity that comes first from my relationship with Him. I’m a lover of good books, fat journals, sunsets and sunrises, long quiet country walks, and time with my family around campfires or on our front porch. Growth and mentorship are high on the list of values for me and I always thrill when I get to celebrate the wonderful journey of growth and discovery with others. The Hubs and I both love hosting so come relax with us sometime and we will chat the time away and connect over a good cup of coffee or chai!
God Made All of Me Matching Games
This set includes 16 matching games each featuring 4 vibrant real-life images with life-giving identity statements. As children place each matching card on the corresponding photo, they are speaking out words of truth and life over themselves. For non-verbal children, allow them to match the card as you speak the words over them. This fun and interactive set is perfect for engaging your little ones as they use their brain and their spirit to learn, grow and love life!
Gah. It’s good. The end of the week is almost here and I’m tired. But it’s a good kind of tired. I’ve been challenging myself to ‘stay present’ more lately and while it definitely takes more emotional energy, it’s been so rich. It’s easy to stay glibly present in good moments, but the hard ones? Those are the ones I have tended to run from.
Kintsugi has always intrigued me. When a small dish from the treasury of my Grandma’s china that had been passed down to me broke the other week, I almost tossed it right into the trash can. But mid toss I stopped and said out loud, ‘No. Verna! She knows how to do kintsugi! I want to do that with this dish.’ At that point I immediately picked up the phone and put in my request for a little help and know-how for the project which turned into a fun morning and lunch together.
In the past, and sometimes still, I can find it difficult to slow down the intake and focus on being established instead of frantically going for more. I’m learning that it’s okay to give myself permission to listen to the same message or read the same chapter over and over again; to learn and re-learn a new habit; to move in peace and let the message or lesson sink deeply into my spirit.