Mom Struggles and PB&J Days

Mom Struggles and PB&J Days

This morning was a mix of play and work, cloudy faces and happy faces. In the middle of folding Sunday and Monday’s laundry with the little tots I wondered, ‘what did Eve struggle with as a Mom?’ The first mom ever. No other moms before her or around her to compare herself with. No endless approaches to sort through. No moms saying you ‘should’ this or that. She was the first. Was she a crunchy perfect organic mom? Or was she okay with peanut butter and jelly sandwich days for her boys? Did she struggle to respond instead of react? Did she get tired of telling her kids for the 99th time to ‘chew with your mouth closed’? Or did she just let that one slide? Did she struggle to make the choice to stay present some days? Did she ever snap and tell Adam, ‘I need a break?’

Not the Life I Imagined

Not the Life I Imagined

I never wanted kids. I wanted a career, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. I wanted to keep going back to school for higher degrees. We were married six months when we found out we were expecting our first child. At the time I was working in a doctor’s office and I asked my co-worker to administer a pregnancy test. She smiled and gave me a big hug and said ‘congratulations, it’s positive.’ I felt like my whole world crumbled. I held back my tears in front of my co-worker, as I did not want her to think I was a terrible person for not being excited about this news. But I definitely was not excited. In fact, I would even say that I was in denial. I was a little numb…