"SHE'S AN ANGEL!"
by Nikevia Lebron
Wife, praise maker, cinnamon roll baker, and super mommy of 3.
On August 1st, 2017, my husband and I miscarried and experienced the most unexplainable and painful hurt of losing a child. Going to the doctor for our confirmation appointment and never getting to see and hear a heartbeat was incomprehensible, especially after two healthy pregnancies. In hopes to find comfort in our loss, my husband and I prayed and asked Holy Spirit to reveal to us the gender of the baby since it was too early to determine by sonogram. God is so kind and loving and revealed to us that the baby was a girl; we named her Journey Elyse. Our family gathered for a private service to honor her life and for Mommy and Daddy to find peace in releasing her to her heavenly assignment.
While our two-year toddler and now one-year old twins were around these events, we never sat down with our boys to discuss what had happened or to explain to them that they now had a sister in heaven. I guess we thought this would be a conversation that we’d have years down the road when the boys were older and could really understand the situation.
Recently, however, my husband was taking a load of laundry out of the washer and putting it into the dryer. Judah, our toddler, insisted on helping. As my husband handed him the items, he kept saying “Thank you, sister!” My husband and I looked at each other with puzzled faces and asked him what he said. Again, he repeated with confidence, “Thank you, sister”. He now has our FULL attention. I bent down and looked at Judah in the eye and asked him if he knew that he had a sister? With excitement and a big smile on his face he replied, “YES, SHE’S AN ANGEL! SHE LIVES AT THE ANGEL HOUSE WITH JESUS!” Now, I know that our daughter did not become a literal angel in her transition into eternity, however, she is a daughter in the Fathers house. I knew the expression my son was making at the tender age of two. With tears in my eyes I tell him that he is correct, that he does have a sister who lives with Jesus. We continue our conversation and I tell him that his sister’s name is Journey and he tells me that Journey is a worshipper, but also goes to the playground in heaven sometimes. Talk about being left speechless and overwhelmed!!!
As if this moment were not enough, when we put Judah to bed that night he told us that there were angels in his room and he pointed out where they were and explained to us that the angels live in the sky with Jesus. As a parent, I must say I was a little envious that my son was having this heavenly visitation and I could not see what he was seeing. More importantly, however, I was amazed at seeing the giftings in this small, innocent child being stirred and coming forth at the sweet age of two.
For those of you who have miscarried, experienced a stillborn birth, infant loss, or simply the loss of a child, find comfort in knowing that your child, “lives at the angel house with Jesus.” Just perhaps the Lord wanted to use a two-year-old to remind you of that truth. Though there may be hurt and pain, there is greater comfort and peace in knowing that our children are with the Father. If you have miscarried in the early stages before finding out whether you were going to have a boy or girl, I encourage you to ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you who your child is and name that child. Give it life because the truth is that he or she has entered into that glorious eternal life. I promise that there is great healing in naming and giving life to what was loss.
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There’s always been something so scary to me about being intimately known by my Daddy God. Thinking of Him being ridiculously fond of me seems…bizarre. Why would He? But lately, one tiny step at a time, my tiny little son is opening my heart up to being okay with Papa God’s crazy love for me. His unexplainable wild delight in me, His girl, even with all my quirks and frights. His creation.
Throughout over 30 years of ministering identity and destiny to children, we have put together many prayers, identity statements, and tools to empower and speak truth into precious young lives. Here we have the privilege of being able to offer some of these resources just for YOU to minister life in your very own home.
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